We all suffer from the three poisons. You may have heard me pray to overcome those at the beginning of these podcasts. The three poisons are attachment, anger and ignorance. The three are closely intertwined. Some believe the three are equal in the damage they do, while some believe that ignorance is the root of all evil. They believe that ignorance creates anger and attachment. Today we will be focusing on attachment and the damage it creates, so that you can learn how to free yourself from this poison.
Attachment is the feeling we get whenever we desire something. We are attached to things we are afraid of losing. We can be attached to people, animals, spirits, material possessions, places, jobs, ways of being, ways of living, belief systems, expectations and mostly ourselves. We become attached to the idea of wanting to be happy all the time. We can become attached to anything really.
We may not think there is anything wrong with feeling attachment, but there is real danger that comes with it. We can become possessed beyond reasonable thinking. We can find ourselves obsessing over someone or something. It may interfere with our lives, with our job and even our sanity. Attachment is unhealthy. It can drive us mad with desire for something. We may find ourselves acting irrationally. We may find ourselves behaving in ways we would not otherwise ever do.
We all suffer from attachment from time to time. When we were little children we may have been attached to wanting a certain toy for our birthday and may have become very upset if we did not get it. The child in the store that wants something, but is refused has a temper tantrum or bursts into tears because they became attached to the item and the idea of possessing it. We can easily recognize attachment in children because they tend to display it openly, not having learned to hide it, yet.
Whenever anyone stalks a person they are suffering greatly from attachment. They may mistakenly think they are in love with the person they stalk, but that isn't love, it is obsession and attachment. They hunt down the person they are obsessing over because they have lost their connection with reality due to the fantasies they have created out of their attachment for the person. A person obsessed like this is ignorant of how the other person truly thinks or feels, but they make believe that the other person loves them just as much and are unable to comprehend things when their fantasies turn out to be false. People in those states of mind are very dangerous because they can become violent if they do not get what they want. The attachment having turned into anger when they are unable to fulfill their overwhelming desires.
We may think it is crazy behaviour and yet we could easily turn into a stalker ourselves if the karma for us to experience that ripened upon us. We most likely have had times in our life when we were infatuated with a love interest, even though that person had no interest in us. We have all felt heart ache one time or another in our lives because we were unable to get the person we fell in love with or a romantic relationship we had ended. If someone thinks that other person was responsible for their feelings of love and happiness and that they could never have love or happiness again if that person leaves them, they can get crazy with attachment. They are attached to the person and unable to respond reasonably to being left. They may even kill the other person or themselves due to this devastating loss.
Attachment can lead to all kinds of insane behaviour. We may even commit crimes to obtain things we become obsessed over wanting to own. We may not be able to figure out a way to get the item on our own merit, so may steal or even kill to get it. All because we mistakenly think that item is going to give us real happiness. We can become frenzied in our attempt to get all the things we are attached to or to keep the things we don't want to lose. We can set up security systems, hire security personnel, or guard dogs to be sure we don't lose the things we are so attached too. We can rent storage units to stack our possessions in when we don't have enough room in our home.
We have all seen in the news people that have lavish lifestyles, or are rich and famous on television or magazine covers who lose everything and hit rock bottom and end up in the tabloids. They often are no longer able to cope with life because they were so attached to the status they previously had. There are some child stars that grow up entitled, who haven't done anything worthwhile in their lives, unable to get past the attachment they have for their childhood fame. Attachment causes issues for everyone. No amount of money, fame or status will every free you from attachment, they usually cause you more.
You may think you do not suffer from attachment if you haven't experienced anything extreme, however do you own anything you could never part with? Do you have a storage unit filled with things you didn't have the heart to donate or throw away cause maybe one day you might need it? Do you love someone so much that you are scared of them leaving you or not loving you back anymore? Do you have a pet you are afraid of losing? Is there some item you desire to own? Are you working lots of overtime so you can get the house of your dreams? Are you trying to get back together with your ex? Did you get angry when you discovered the first scratch or dent on your car? Were you completely devastated and unable to move forward in your life if you lost something precious to you? If you said yes to any of these questions, then you suffer from attachment.
You may be attached to the way you look and become upset if you start to gain weight or to age. Perhaps you like the neighbourhood you live in, but over the decades it has changed and unsavoury people have moved in, so now you are upset with those changes and new people. Maybe you have completely bought into a religion, or cult and are devastated to find out it has been harming you all along and the horrible atrocities that it has created. It is attachment that causes us to become so upset when things we are use to change. We are attached to things being a certain way and are thrown for a loop when it all falls apart around us. We may find we are unable to cope with the changes expected of us.
We all suffer from attachment. Most of us are afraid of death. We don't want to die because we are attached to being who we currently are. We are afraid to let go of our life and all the things in it. If we die with a strong mind of attachment that can cause us issues for our future rebirths. Being attached to yourself is known as self-grasping. You grasp at this physical form you have and the mind you possess mistakenly thinking they are permanent, when they are not. This is the most powerful form of attachment we all suffer from. This keeps us trapped within the cycle of uncontrolled rebirth. This self-grasping mind is the root cause of all of our problems and suffering.
We feel pain when we lose something we are attached to. We are upset when we cannot get something we are attached to. We suffer when we become ill because we are attached to having good health. We ultimately endure the suffering of having to die and leave everything in this life behind us. You can see why attachment is one of the three poisons because it pervades our entire lives and effects us in so many ways. It is one of the hardest things to overcome.
If you have a storage unit, when was the last time you took something out of it that you needed? If it has been sitting there and you haven't used anything that is stored in it, then you could save yourself money by emptying it out. Why pay rent for a storage facility that you really don't need? If your home is crammed with items that you don't use, then free yourself from the clutter and get rid of them. Donate them to charity or give them to someone that could use them. Free yourself from unnecessary attachment. Look around you and be honest with yourself as to whether you truly need everything you have collected in life.
If you can start to reduce your attachments, you will start to reduce many of the troubles in your life. Try to start reducing your attachment with objects you have or want to own. Then take an honest look at how attached your are to the people and pets you have in your life. I am not saying to stop loving them, but try to see the difference between love, the wish for them to be happy and attachment, that you cannot live without them. By lessening the attachment we have for others, we minimize the pain we will feel when we lose them. Then hopefully, you can start to weaken the grip you have on your self-grasping until you are able to completely overcome it. Then the awareness that you are going to die will not impact you so negatively and your actual death will be easier to go through. Try to work on the antidote to this poison that pervades your mind and causes you so much suffering.
I have given many things away over the years and every once in a while I get a pang of regret for having given something away that I think I might like to still have. At those times, I just remind myself those things don't really exist anyway, so I haven't actually lost anything, since I never really had them in the first place. That helps me to get over my attachment issues. I will keep trying my best to overcome my attachments. It can take time, and sometimes it can be painful, but I know I have to keep doing it. I have to keep working on it to be truly liberated from suffering. I hope that you will be successful in overcoming your attachments. We can all work towards this during this very lifetime. It would be wonderful if we could all be released from the harm attachment causes us.
Find the full podcast here: https://youtu.be/7BnzBrxArx0
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